Evil Dead 4 - "Deadites in the Shed(ites)"
Ash (Bruce Campbell) is sat in his back garden reading a Transformers annual.
Ash : "Damm those filthy Decpeticons, I bet Optimus prime wouldn’t have died if I had been there with my BOOMSTICK and HELICOPTER CAR."
Mrs Ash (Bruce Campbell in a wig) pokes her head around the door.
Mrs Ash: "Stop lazing about and clear out that shed you big galut, and don’t touch this pie that I’m putting on the window sill to cool."
Ash: "Grumble Grumble, if I still had that chainsaw for a hand, grumble , then Id show you."
Ash opens the shed door and goes inside, but alas he gets his foot stuck in a bucket and flails around comically knocking a book off the shelf. He then falls on top of the opened book.
Ash: "Oh no, this is the evil book written in blood and I’ve accidentally read it!"
Zombies come out of the ground and stumble about like idiots.
Ash: "Curses these Zombies will surely come to attack my shed, luckily I have my SHOTGUN in here"
Ash picks up the shotgun
Ash: "And this handy RAKE"
Ash ties the rake to his arm. Suddenly the door bursts open
Zombie: "Grrrrragghhh"
Ash: "Zim Zam! Aha ha ha ha!"
Ash rakes the zombie on the face and it falls over
More Zombies come through the door
Zombies: "Doop doop"
Ash shoots the zombies causing them to explode
Ash: "SO SMAAAART SHOOOOPING!"
Ash dives out of the shed and it EXPLODES. Suddenly a zombie approaches the pie on the window sill.
Ash: "Nooooooo" Ash throws a trowel which hits the zombie between the eyes causing it to explode.
Mrs Ash approaches, except she is now a MINDLESS ZOMBIE
Mrs Ash: "Hello dear, how would you like me to Dye (die) your clothes"
Ash raises the shotgun "Um bongo" fires "Um bongo" fires "Dey drink it in the congo" The final shot kills the hideous zombie.
Suddenly the doorbell rings. Ash opens the door, to reveal his boss Mr Spacely
Ash: "Oh no I forgot my boss was coming over for dinner"
Mr Spacely: "ASSSSSSHHHHHH!"
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