Another reviewing first as not only have I never seen inception, I have also not seen a trailer for it or even seen a poster for it on the bus. What I have done though is drink some orange squash without first diluting it (and this is DOUBLE strength squash to save on bottle space) and then take wild citrus induced guesses at what happens. I’m sure the experience was much the same as sitting through the film. (Except in the film you don’t spend two hours in bed becoming paranoid about why Sainsbury’s have only just discovered the secret of double strength squash and why you always end up adding about a third of what you normally would so it is possibly only 1.5 strength squash. Then you have to make a letter cut out of newspapers to Sainsbury’s telling them you know about their squash lies but you can’t find enough S’s so you just send a picture of Gordon Ramsay making a quiche.)
Here is a joke about that
Q. Gordon Ramsay can I have a quiche?
A. I think you mean a quiche!
Anyway the film ‘Inception’ is about Leonardo DeCapario who is a good actor but no one can ever like him that much because he was in Titanic. He has done some good films since Titanic i.e. Catch me if you can but whenever anyone sees him they just ask him about why they didn’t just steer the boat around the iceberg or why he didn’t do a better job of not freezing to death. He always tries to distract them by saying “Remember when I was in who has eaten Gilbert’s grapes?" But everyone ignores him and tells him they like the bit when he draws Kate Winslet.
Because of this Leonardo DeCaprio is living in a dream world but is it REALLY a dream world or is it THE REAL WORLD (it’s a dream world) and he has to ask his friend the boy from Third Rock from the Sun about whether it is REAL WORLD or DREAM WORLD and then the Boy from Third Rock from the Sun says he doesn’t care because he played Cobra Commander in G.I Joe and that is possibly the greatest film ever made.
Reasons why G.I Joe is the best film ever made.
1. The Boy from Third Rock from the Sun plays Cobra Commander. (SPOILERZ)
2. Christopher Ecclestone pretends to be Scottish.
3. Brendan Fraser is in it for no good reason.
4. It has flashbacks to why the Ninjas hate each other but no flashbacks as to why anyone else hates each other.
5. It has a funny sidekick man who is allowed to join the army despite being rubbish at war and only good at wisecracking.
6. The same week I watched Dragonball Z, X-Men origins: Wolverine, The Incredible Hulk and the first 15 minutes of Streetfighter: The Legend of Chun Li also I had swine flu.
In any case the man from Last Samurai (not Tom Cruise, the Samurai man) gives Leonardo some money to go in a dream of the Scarecrow from Batman Begins and give him ideas about having a pointless cameo in Dark knight Returns where he has an evil scarecrow van. (That is actually just a normal van) I think it is because the man from Last Samurai is hoping to get a cameo in ‘Last of the Samurai 2: Whoever wins – we lose!’ where he drives a special samurai van.
Last of the Samurai 2: Whoever wins – we lose!
Int: Car park some Samurai’s are having a meeting, the man from the Last Samurai (Not Tom Cruise) turns up in his Samurai Van.
Russian Samurai: These things you sold me are no good.
Man from the Last Samurai (Not Tom Cruise): I told you my Samurai fear gas would take you places …I never said it would be places you wanted to go!
At the end of the film Leonardo is successful in convincing the Scarecrow to do the cameo even though it gets very tense and you are not sure if he might succeed or he might fail. The tension really builds up because everything is left to the last minute wheras usually in films everything is done with a lot of time to spare and the last hour of the film is people saying “Well I’m glad we planned that out properly” and “Job well done to us.” The tension is especially tight as they have a man on the phone (dream phone) who tells them “Hurry up ten minutes left” and “Only ten minutes left now” even though you know there is half an hour of the film left it is still very tense!
At the end of the film you are still left to wonder is Leonardo living in a DREAM WORLD or in REAL WORLD because the answer is never really revealed in the film leaving you to go home and ponder. (He’s in the REAL WORLD if it was a dream he would be chased by a man with a dog)
Overall I give Inception an Aviator out of a Flight of the Navigator.
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