The Inspector Tockenheim Mysteries – Inspector Tockenheim goes out on the (L)Ash
Private Citizen Jarocks Mendoza is settled down in his flat to watch his DVD box set of Ashes to Ashes – Funk to Funky, the popular drama about policemen abusing human rights in the olden days. However things are about to go from ‘Life on Mars’ to ‘Strife with Jimmy Carrs’.
Jarocks: I can’t wait to see policeman Gene Hunt abuse some human rights during the 1980’s, now to reach into my DVD cabinet and locate this inexplicably popular series.
Jarocks is left only grasping the air as his DVD has been absconded by criminals.
Jarocks: Oh noes! My precious DVD has been ‘away with the fairies’ now I will never find out that they were dead all along even though it was obvious that was the case as if they had actually travelled in time they wouldn’t have different clothes. If only Gene Hunt were here to mistreat some suspects then I would get my DVD back.
Inspector Tockenheim steps out of the shadows
Tockenheim: Don’t worry Jarocks you have an even better policeman at your disposal and in honour of it being Ash Wednesday I have decided to solve the crime in the style of Gene Hunt. That is I am going to assault you until you confess that you never had the DVD in the first place.
Jarocks: Its true, I just wanted to look like a big man. In reality all I have is this VHS recorder and a handful of dreams.
Tockenheim: Well I’m still going to hit you with this lead pipe for wasting police time.
Jarocks: Thank you sir.
Fin
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